First drop-off

Well, I just left my baby in some building in another town with a bunch of people I barely know to have experiences I will probably never know about, and now I'm here in a quiet house eating my way through the entire kitchen and trying not to think about how quiet it is...

Let me start again.

I just dropped off Molly at her first real morning of preschool and it went fantastic. She was looking forward to it all morning, never once seemed worried. As we pulled out of the driveway she asked if this was the morning when I pick her up and drop her off. I said yep (holding back the urge to elaborate or get all emotional). She chatted in the back seat about the rocking boat she thought might be in the classroom and mentioned, in a round-about 3-year-old way, that she wondered if kids would fall and get a boo-boo and what would happen. I told her that her teacher probably has bandaids and that she knows how to make kids feel better, and that she has the phone numbers for all the moms and dads in case a kid needs them to come make them feel better.

Molly walked into the building without hesitation (except when one of the other classroom teachers said hi and when we had to walk past two men in fluorescent green t-shirts who were fixing something in the vestibule). We put her bag in her cubby, just as she had planned, and I helped her change out of her rain boots into slippers. I showed her that I had put her sneakers and socks on top of her bag. She looked at me, gave me a big squeeze and a kiss. Then she ran over to Kate sleeping in the stroller and said a chipper, "Goodbye Katie," then ran over to play with Jadon.

It was all much more sudden than I expected. I kind of envisioned a little chat with the teacher, maybe Molly hanging back with me for a few minutes, me having to initiate the good-byes. Nope.

What gives me comfort is that just as we were walking in her teacher got out the rocking boat!!! How did she know? No wonder Molly jumped right into playing.

What worries me is that Jadon's dad (her current number 1 most scary man on the planet) was sitting in the classroom. I know both Jadon's mom was expecting to have to stay in the classroom with him for a few days or weeks. It never occurred to me they would send Jadon's dad instead. I think Molly saw him and she didn't seem bothered, so I hope it will be OK. Coincidentally her teacher witnessed one of the clinging tantrums his kind "hello" sparked last spring, so I hope she'll help ease the situation.

Anyway, I found it very hard to walk out the door (just as I found it hard not to eavesdrop yesterday when the teacher took the kids inside for a story). I'm so used to being involved in Molly's activities, learning the songs, hearing the stories, seeing her play. I wish I was going to preschool -- which is why this is probably a healthy thing for me to walk away, right?

I gave Molly a quick last kiss on the top of her head and she didn't even look up.

Then I drove away and abandoned my baby .... sorry, I left quietly and came home. I just got Kate down for a nap and the house is so quiet (and messy and there's tons to do but I think I need to take a few breaths first before I jump in).

It is a very long wait until pick-up time. A very, very long time.