Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Late talker?

I'm all worked up tonight because one of my neighbors gave me a hard time again this afternoon about Molly's talking abilities. This otherwise fun mom has it in her head that I was wrong to teach Molly baby signs and that it's delaying her language. I've told her nicely in the past that studies show signs actually help babies talk sooner, but she doesn't believe me. Tonight we were leaving her house and I asked Molly to sign "thank you." I was so proud that Molly is learning manners that I was caught off guard by her disapproving questions such as, "What does her doctor say about her speech?" and "Oh really? He's not concerned? Well, I guess you don't have to worry then."

It's true Molly doesn't say a lot of words compared to some kids at this age, but she's still well within the range of normal. It's pretty mean to imply that she's developing too slowly and it's my fault. I know it's just the way this woman is. She gives another neighbor a hard time about her kids' outbursts and tantrums, implying it's all the mom's fault ("He behaves so well as soon as you leave the room").

Still, it's hard to tune it out. It's a blessing and a curse to live near so many toddlers (and their sometimes opinionated mothers!). How do you not compare? The little girl across the street just turned 18 months and she's potty training already. (She also has gorgeous long hair, a full set of teeth and looks twice Molly's age). Meanwhile the boy down the street who's about 18 months has a sweet baby face and walked a little later than Molly. They're all happy and healthy, and they're all growing up so fast!

Everything I've read says that it doesn't matter in the long run which baby skills develop early or late -- it doesn't say anything about the kid's talents or weaknesses as they get older. Right now, though, that just doesn't intuitively seem true. It's hard not to worry.

So for the record, here's a video of one of Molly's newer spoken words. She says "bye-bye" and she likes to play a little game with me where she says "bye-bye" and closes a door between us. It's not the safest game ever, especially when she's trying to close herself into the bathroom with a full tub or close me out of the stairway and then climb up on her own. She stumbled upon a funny version of the game yesterday when she would run down the hallway to her bedroom, say "bye-bye" and shut the door, then jiggle the door knob trying unsuccessfully to get herself out again. After a few minutes I would hear her in there sweetly saying "Mama Mama" until I opened the door for her.

Anyway, this is from the other day when she was playing on the deck ... and TALKING.




Oh, one last little exciting note. Molly took a nap in her crib yesterday for the first time in at least two months. It was a late nap -- so much excitement with Oma and Grandpa here -- so I thought it might be a fluke, that she thought it was nighttime. But today she went down at 11:10 a.m. in the crib, no fussing, and slept for more than an hour. Yay! Maybe I can stop worrying about her falling out of our bed every day. :)

3 comments:

AnnaPK said...

After spending of all Easter weekend with her I think Molly talked/communicated just fine!!

Kim says she will beat that other mom for you if you want. I will help her! :) Just think how you can silently gloat when Molly is getting straight A's and her kid is straggling behind because they didn't get the awesome start that Molly did.

Besides, talking is totally over rated! Lucy never shuts up now and she repeats things that you say, polite or not! ;)

I love Molly's new game! Make sure you have some keys for all your doors in a safe easy to get to place just in case. You don't want to be trying to pry a door off its hinges before Daddy gets home. :)
Lots of love,
Anna, Kim, Lucy, and Freddy

Grampy D & Grammy Lynn said...

Julie, honey, its all about the parents. The ones who care and are attentive to their children turn out the best, with the guidance of the One above. You and Jim have nothing to be concerned about other than insensitive people more concerned with their status in the neighborhood than their relationships. The sad thing is the other mom is displaying some serious insecurity and lack of confidence in her own ability.
Molly is truly blessed to have you and Jim for parents, she will do just fine.
Hope to see you in Vt. later this month.
Luv and blessings to all the Kirkwoods.
Don & Lynn

Joyce said...

Hi Julie,
I know from lots of experience that you can't delay language development by teaching a child to sign. Both Brian and I were so impressed with Molly's ability to communicate. We've never seen her become frustrated due to you and Jim not understanding what she wants. Molly will continue to learn new words at her own pace. She's a very busy girl who's learning many new things everyday!
Thanks so much for letting us stop by last weekend. It was great to see all of you, and spend some time with Molly!
Take care and we'll see you soon.
Give Molly a big hug for us.
Joyce